All day long I have been wondering why haven’t they said any word to me. I got it all, when I wen to walk my doggy, ‘chocolate’. It surely wrecked my walls of love and believe in humanity. There were so many things running through my head, while the conversation was going on, so many things I wanted to reply to, but chose to keep quiet. I didn’t need to explain myself to anyone, not because they are dumb or something, but because everyone has their beliefs and I’m not the type of person who disrespects them, not anymore.
I’m must admit, I was disturbed by some of the things said by my dad. even though they are true, they just hurt a little, maybe more than little. Especially when he said,” It’s not like it’s your first love, you’ve had many partners before, so all I’m saying is, why don’t you go for someone better. ” I mean I know I have been in physical relation with a few guys before, that doesn’t mean I loved any of them, I had few feelings for Tom, I can’t deny but I have evolved. I realized I didn’t love him, I was just attracted to him because well, he was European and Treated me like a freaking princess. I’m mean who couldn’t fall for that. But valentine was different, he didn’t let me fly high, but made sure I wasn’t feeling low. maybe he did sometimes, so what? not like I’m marrying him right now. My dad said, “all this love and everything is bullshit, look at the celebs, they have so many relationships and flings but when they marry, he’s got the right amount of dollars, in some cases more than needed. Looking at Valentino, I don’t think he is right, he is like pig in the mud, he wont get clean, wont let you stay clean. He doesn’t look like the type who can get settled in life, his dad is far away, and he doesn’t listen to his mom, I don’t think he will ever get into track. You should look for a guy who has money, or at least has the ability to earn money, and I don’t see both in him. he doesn’t have that kind of capacity.” Clearly my dad hates him, and blames him for spoiling my life as well as my career.
I’m a believer, not the Justin Bieber kind, the one who believes everyone should be given a chance, I want to believe in him, that he will get settled in life. I want him to feel he is not alone in this. If this is not love, then I don’t know what is. The basic concept of my life is love, spread love. Because even though they are lot of spread love rally, treat everybody equal, everyone seems to follow it in their comfort, I want to do it, even when it’s tough, because I believe, its what humans are made for, to love each other, work together, not compete with each other, hate on each other. And also I don’t want to give the wrong idea, of just roaming free without job or anything. you need to do what you love, and something, which helps you grow. It’s a huge topic, which my Gemini mind endlessly debates on.